THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION

     Tony Johnson was once again watching the JOHNNY MAC WILLIAMS SHOW. Once again he was annoyed by the show.

     The show was always featuring young women in barely there bikinis and the host and his side kick was always telling dirty jokes to each other and the guest.

     He wished he could do something about getting this dirty show off the air.

     One day Johnson noticed a small ad in the newspaper:

ARE YOU SICK OF SMUTTY TELEVISION? WE CAN HELP YOU GET SMUTTY TELEVISION OUT OF YOUR LIFE. SEND ONE DOLLAR TO: THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION BOX...

     Johnson sent them a dollar bill the next morning and waited for a reply.

     Three days later a postcard came in the mail. It was a plain white card addressed to him.

     On the card was a line drawing of a television.

     Under the picture was a few lines of text: If a TV show with smutty contents is on the television look for a device known as a DIAL. It will have numbers on it. It will look like figure A in the picture above. Turn the dial till you find a clean TV show. If that fails there will also be a device called an on/off switch which is figure B on the picture above. Push this switch into the off position. The television set will go off and you can then give the television away. Your problem with smutty television will then be cured. Yours THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION.

     Johnson was annoyed and threw the postcard into the trash.

     He then sat down to watch TV.

     The Mac Williams show was on and they had young ladies in thong bikinis doing jumping jacks.

     He watched the whole thing and kept asking himself: Why would anyone be watching that?

THE END. 

Copyright 2017 by Teel -Please do not re post or reprint without permission.

EL MONSTRUO RESUCITADO.

     I looked for this movie for many years after seeing this poster. I have found it on You Tube not long ago.
     The mad scientist in the film does look like the man on the poster. The actor is wearing a mask. It's a pretty good mask but you still can tell it's a mask.

SHARK EXORCIST- Movie poster.

     I thought this was a joke but then I checked You Tube and found scenes from the movie posted there. Bad acting and bad taste.

THE ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER

     THE ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER is one of those movies with a great poster and a bad movie behind that poster.
     The only two features of this movie that are any good is A) The stock music which was also on the soundtrack of THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS and B) the actress who plays the alien she monster. She wears a skin tight outfit and kills anyone she touches. In some scenes you will notice that she backs away from the the camera a lot. That was because the suit she was wearing was so tight that it split down the back and the actress could not turn around in it after that.
     There is no space saucers in the movie like the ones shown on this poster.
     Lead actor Robert Clarke was inspired to make the movie THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON after seeing that this bad very cheap movie made a profit.
     Clarke's movie is much better than this one.

GODZILLA'S STAR.

   
     I was in Hollywood CA yesterday and I was walking along the Walk of Fame where the names of famous actors are written unto stars that run down the sidewalk.
     I was surprised to see that Godzilla the monster star of many Japanese films had his own star on the Walk of Fame.

BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA

      I was thinking the other day about how exploitation movies, pulp novels, cheap horror comic books and cheap horror-exploitation VHS/DVDs  have a lot in common. They have catchy titles. Eye catching art and often the book/movie/comic book is a second or third rate work. But you don't find out that part until they get your money.

     BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA is one of those works. 

     I'm sure that no one went to that film believing that it was going to be seeing a masterpiece in cinema but it manage to be below par as both a horror film and a western. (That last line reads snobby. But sometimes I feel snobby)

    Once again John Carradine is brought in to give a third rate film some class and B movie star power. I always said that John Carradine was one of the greatest actors to appear in third rate movies.      In an interview he said this was the worst film he appeared in. I disagree since the film features him in a lead role. I think that his roles in THE VOODOO MAN and ASTRO ZOMBIES were a waste of his talents. I enjoy both films but he was wasted in them.

     Another film that wasted John Carradine was FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND. It was the last film of director/producer Jerry Warren. Carradine played the ghost of Dr. Frankenstein and I'm sure that all his scenes were shot in one day. He would appear out through the  film in double expose special effect shots and rant silly lines. It was like Lugosi's role in GLEN OR GLENDA.

POOR DEVIL- TV movie

     POOR DEVIL was a TV movie staring Sammy Davis Jr as a minor league demon who convince a man played by Jack Klugman (Best known for the ODD COUPLE) into selling his soul. Davis lets the man out of the deal at the end of the film and Davis' boss The Devil played by Christopher Lee put him to work shoveling coal into the pits of Hell as a punishment.
     This seem to be a pilot for a TV series but nothing came of it.