A bagel I ate last month in Hollywood. I like bagels with a lot of cream cheese.

ROBERT CRUMB LIKES THEM BIG.

I really like the art work of cartoonist Robert Crumb. Aside from the great ink pen drawings we both like the "Big Girls".

SIMPLE ART

     Just some simple drawings.

THE BUM'S CURSE- A short Story.

THE BUM'S CURSE

     I was walking out of a bar late one night after few screwdrivers. As I walked out a smelly bum walked up to me.

     He held out the fore finger of his long unwashed hand at me and said something I couldn't understand with his smelly wine breath mouth. He then made some kind of a sign in the air with his finger.

     "I've just placed a curse on you." He told me. I tell you the cheap wine made his mouth smell like the inside of an old outhouse. "Give me a dollar and I will take the curse off of you."

     I gave him a dollar. I liked his act. It was better than those liars who claim that they needed the money for food and at lease he was walking. I can't stand those guys who just sit there with their hands out. I then walked away from him.

     I was halfway down the block when 'it' appeared to me.

     It was a seven foot tall cat standing on it's hind legs. It wasn't a cat really. That's just what it kind of looked like to me. It had it's paw out ready to smack me over the head.

     The bum then appeared again. He ran up to the cat and then he yelled something at the 'cat' and it ran away into the darkness.

     "Sorry." Said the bum shame faced. "I mixed up a few of the words when I took the curse off of you." He then walked off into the night. I've never seen him around here again.

     Sometimes I wonder if I just dreamed it after one too many drinks.

     That's why when I go drinking now a days I always tell the bartenders that I want a screwdriver... But hold the vodka.

THE END.

Copyright 2017 by Teel- Please do not re post or re print without permission.

ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

Rando saw that it was a high wall. The wall was smooth and there was no climbing over it.

It was much longer than it was high. No matter how far Rando walked in ether direction there was no way around it.

The only break in the wall was a hole. It was not a small hole. But it also was not a very large hole.

Try as he might there was no way he could push himself through the hole.

Beyond the wall was a garden and in that garden was many pretty women.

Rando tried and tried again to go through the hole.

He was too big...Too big...

The sounds of the carnival sideshow barker woke up Rondo who had once again fallen asleep from boredom.

"Come one...come all! See the incredible Rando! Nine hundred and twenty pounds of human flesh! The fattest living man in the state of New York!"

Rando looked out of a hole in the side of the

freak show tent in which he sat all day.

Over by the cotton candy stand stood two pretty girls.

Too big. He thought. Too big...too big...

THE END.

Copyright 2017 by Teel.

Please do not repost or reprint without permission.

THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION

     Tony Johnson was once again watching the JOHNNY MAC WILLIAMS SHOW. Once again he was annoyed by the show.

     The show was always featuring young women in barely there bikinis and the host and his side kick was always telling dirty jokes to each other and the guest.

     He wished he could do something about getting this dirty show off the air.

     One day Johnson noticed a small ad in the newspaper:

ARE YOU SICK OF SMUTTY TELEVISION? WE CAN HELP YOU GET SMUTTY TELEVISION OUT OF YOUR LIFE. SEND ONE DOLLAR TO: THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION BOX...

     Johnson sent them a dollar bill the next morning and waited for a reply.

     Three days later a postcard came in the mail. It was a plain white card addressed to him.

     On the card was a line drawing of a television.

     Under the picture was a few lines of text: If a TV show with smutty contents is on the television look for a device known as a DIAL. It will have numbers on it. It will look like figure A in the picture above. Turn the dial till you find a clean TV show. If that fails there will also be a device called an on/off switch which is figure B on the picture above. Push this switch into the off position. The television set will go off and you can then give the television away. Your problem with smutty television will then be cured. Yours THE KNIGHTS OF CLEAN TELEVISION.

     Johnson was annoyed and threw the postcard into the trash.

     He then sat down to watch TV.

     The Mac Williams show was on and they had young ladies in thong bikinis doing jumping jacks.

     He watched the whole thing and kept asking himself: Why would anyone be watching that?

THE END. 

Copyright 2017 by Teel -Please do not re post or reprint without permission.

EL MONSTRUO RESUCITADO.

     I looked for this movie for many years after seeing this poster. I have found it on You Tube not long ago.
     The mad scientist in the film does look like the man on the poster. The actor is wearing a mask. It's a pretty good mask but you still can tell it's a mask.